


Chips & Dip Filled Pompts

by MarshOnTheMellow



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: M/M, the appropriate tags are noted in the chapter summaries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-27
Updated: 2015-08-23
Packaged: 2018-04-01 14:12:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4022845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarshOnTheMellow/pseuds/MarshOnTheMellow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Whenever I take a hiatus off my multi-chaptered fics for a minimum amount of two weeks, I organize a prompt event in which everyone can send me their request (and as you could guess by the title, they're all about billdip) . I'll be posting all filled prompts here once they're done! :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Roadtrip!AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tags: nothing worth of mention
> 
> **Someone asked: Prompt: Dipper and (human) Bill being on a roadtrip and being stuck on a country road at night because the rain is so heavy that it would be unsafe to continue driving. Bill is heavily annoyed. (I'm way too much into roadtrip AU oops)**
> 
> _Note: Established relationship for this one, hope that’s what you had in mind. Also, I don’t live in the States, so I have no idea what the geography and the roads are like. Purely basing myself off the country’s map here. And yes I worked in a bunch Roosterteeh references in there, sue me._

Rain pitter-pattered on the roof of the car, drumming a fast, steady beat, whilst Dipper leaned back and waited for the sky to clear. An hour they had been stuck for now, and no sign of it letting up anytime soon. Water cascaded down the windshield, effectively acting as a curtain impossible to see through. Bill and he had to stop in some desolate, lonely country road in the middle of nowhere Nebraska, stranded in a storm completely blind to the world outside.

“It’s not even a _cool_ storm,” Bill muttered as he peered out the window. “It’s rain. Just rain. No thunder, no lightning, you can’t even see the animals drown! This is so _boring!_ ” He flopped back in his seat, deflating like a punctured balloon.

“Only you would be happy to watch animals die...” Dipper was torn between disapproval and laughter. He settled for sighing.

Bill shrugged. “Here? It’s all rats and mice anyway. Plenty of those in the world, so who cares really?”

“Mabel would,” Dipper said.

“Hmm...” he considered it for a bit. “She _would,_ wouldn’t she?”

Dipper had nothing to respond to that, they both knew the answer after all, and so they fell silent.

Then Bill had to reach for the radio.

Dipper slapped his wrist before he could press the “on” button, and the blonde flinched back.

“Piiiiiiiiiiine Treeeeeeeeeeeee...” he whined, holding his wrist.

“No! Hell no! I’ve had enough of your sing-along to last a lifetime! You are _not_ touching that radio!”

Bill stuck his tongue out. “Party pooper.”

“Ass wipe,” the response was almost immediate, for the number of times he’d been called that. “Learn how to hit a note first.”

“But I need something to _do!_ ” the blonde pouted.

“What about the 3DS? It’s in the back of the car, right?”

“Forgot to charge it at the last motel...”

“’Course you did...” he sighed. Again. “And the books we brought? They’re somewhere back here I think...” he twisted around to peek over his shoulder. He internally groaned at the mess in the backseat; candy wrappers, blankets, the odd wire here and there. They’d have to clean that up at their next stop.

He couldn’t find the bag containing the books. As he turned back, he saw Bill grimacing. “Lovecraft’s only interesting for a time,” he said. “I’ve read them all anyways.”

“I already told you, the radio stays off.”

“Entertain me then!” Bill threw his arms up in the air, rolling his eyes in exasperation.

“No! Why don’t you just go to sleep? It’s, like, midnight anyways. We’ve been up since six in the morning, aren’t you tired?”

“...”

“Bill?”

“No. I don’t want to.”

“...Okaaaaay?”

Bill curled up on himself in his seat, arms around his knees, and didn’t respond. He stared out the window, completely silent, face frozen in an unreadable neutral expression. If Dipper had known that that was all it took to shut the guy up, he would’ve done it ages ago. Yet, Bill’s unnatural silence made him feel guilty for some reason as well.

He knew the blonde had nightmares, almost constantly actually. He’d toss and turn in the backseat, whimpering and sometimes even pleading, but then he’d wake up and be his usual chipper, energetic, kind-of-annoying-at-times self again. When pressed, he explained that the nightmares didn’t bother him in the least anymore, and Dipper had dropped the subject at that. No need to know what exact terrors Bill’s mind could conjure.

Obviously though, something had changed since that last conversation. Bill was never afraid of sleep, and yes, Bill had definitely been afraid just then. Maybe his brain had finally created something that really shook him up. What _that_ was however, Dipper couldn’t even fathom.

They didn’t speak for the next twenty minutes, and each second made Dipper feel guiltier and guiltier for crossing a line he didn’t even know was there. Logically speaking, he should’ve gotten annoyed that Bill was giving him the silent treatment for no discernible reason whatsoever, but then Bill _never_ gave him the silent treatment. He loved the sound of his own voice too much for that to happen. Either way, this new experience really made Dipper nervous.

Maybe he should apologize? For what exactly? Maybe try for a conversation? Small talk? Bill hated that, and so did Dipper. He was way too awkward of a person to not flounder and make an embarrassment out of himself.

God, this relationship was confusing.

He smiled at the thought, and his fingers stopped from where they were drumming on the window sill. Relationship, yeah. The concept was such a new one, it felt surreal at times. If a year ago, someone had told him he’d be dating his childhood frenemy (if not borderline enemy at times), he’d have laughed in their face before tripping over his own two feet running away, because was his crush really _that obvious oh my god?!_

And now here they were, on a road trip for the west to east coast, an outing suggested by Mabel to celebrate their graduation from university (but was actually a ploy to try and matchmake them, her brother suspected); Dipper in English Literature, and Bill in History and Economics. Mabel was doing her own party thing in Disney Land with Pacifica, which left both he and Bill on this trip alone, together, trapped in an enclosed space. _Mabel’s gonna freak once I tell her her plan worked,_ Dipper thought.

Still, that didn’t solve the problem at hand, and Dipper was completely stumped on that front. Small talk it was then. Hopefully, he wouldn’t want the earth swallow him whole once he was done. What was he going to talk about, anyway? The weather? He scoffed at the idea. Maybe he could just ask a penny for a thou--

“What if your legs didn’t know they were legs?”

“What the fuck, Bill.”

Come to think of it, Dipper didn’t want to know.

Bill turned around to face him, eyes wide and grinning. At least he was back to normal, and Dipper breathed a metaphorical sigh of relief.

“Let’s play a game!” Bill was practically jumping up and down in excitement.

“What kind of game...?” he leaned back, suspicious, but curious nonetheless.

“The ‘what if?’ game, duh!”

“What? No! You always win at that one!” It was true. The ‘what if?’ game consisted of coming up with the weirdest, dumbest, _randomest_ questions, so of course Bill scored higher.

“That’s what makes it so fun, Pine Tree!” he laughed. “Awww... But don’t worry, you’ve got a pretty twisted mind yourself from time to time!”

Dipper grimaced. “Gee, thanks.”

“I’ll go first.” Bill sat back in his seat, eyes upwards and a finger under his chin, pensive. “Let’s see... Do you think goose bumps for blind people are just like reading a bunch of jumbled letters?”

Dipper groaned. “Bill, I’m not playing this.”

“No fun, Pine Tree,” he pouted. “But your reactions are funny. I can think up enough for the both of us, anyways.”

“Bill...”

“If a car goes at sixty-two miles per hour and there’s a fly in the car, does that mean the fly flies at over sixty-two miles per hour?”

“Bill, no.”

“If you had a massive aquarium in space, and you took out the aquarium so all that’s left is a glob of water with a fish in it, does the fish know it’s in space?”

“Bill, stop.”

“Could you make a face look like someone else’s face if you tattooed on another person’s face?“

“Oh my god.”

“Do you think tyrannosauruses had cavities because their arms were so small they couldn’t reach with the dental flo--“

Okay. Enough was enough.

Dipper grabbed Bill by the sweater and crashed his lips onto his. It wasn’t gentle, far from it actually; teeth clacking together, noses awkwardly pressing against the other’s cheeks, and Bill’s hands slipping off-balance, flailing, and coming to a rest on both Dipper’s thigh and the car’s dashboard.

Dipper just wondered why they hadn’t done this sooner.

Bill made a surprised sound at the back of his throat, before positively _melting_ against Dipper, his body shifting to face his boyfriend, one hand sliding down Dipper’s thigh and the other brushing his cheek. He tilted his head to the side, lips sliding into a gentler press against Dipper’s own, and the latter could see Bill’s eyes flutter closed. He shut his own soon after, smiling into the kiss, all his senses zeroing in on Bill and Bill alone.

He lifted his hands to the back of Bill’s neck, absently toying with the short locks of hair there, sending shivers up the blonde’s spine and making him open his mouth in a gasp. Dipper took the opportunity, tongue smooth and warm, tracing each and every tooth languidly, and Bill moaned. He pulled Dipper closer, arm around the waist, gripping the back of his head, almost tugging at his hair, and lazily fought for dominance. He caught Dipper’s bottom lip between his own, and gently bit down, and it was Dipper’s turn to shudder and moan.

They pulled away, panting and speechless. They were close enough so that their noses still brushed against each other as they breathed in the other’s air, and suddenly Dipper felt as if they were stuck in a sauna. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Neither moved from where they were leaning over the center console, simply staring at each other with half-lidded eyes.

“Pine--“

“Shut up and kiss me again,” Dipper breathed.

Bill leaned back in, eyes transfixed on Dipper’s lips. “Okay.”

He _did_ kiss him again. And again. And again. And again.

Neither of them noticed the cloud-free sky, nor the stars shining overhead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bill’s nightmares feature Dipper dying now, and that’s why he doesn’t want to sleep. This is actually taken from [crispych0colate](http://crispych0colate.tumblr.com/search/roadtrip+au)’s posts on tumblr, because I had to search up ‘roadtrip au’ for inspiration. Go check her out!
> 
> Also, baby’s first kissing scene yay! Hopefully it’s alright. I’m actually pretty proud of it!


	2. Dipper Has a Panic Attack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tags: description of a panic attack, pre-slash
> 
> **Someone asked: For prompts: dipper is having a pretty nasty panic attack, and calls out to bill for help. And though he thinks bill will probably have no idea whats going on, it turns out he actually does, and takes care of him. Lots of fluff**  
>     
>  _Note: I have personally never experience a panic attack before (and I hope I never do) so I’m purely basing myself off the things Google told me about panic attacks. Also, it wasn’t specified in the prompt whether it was young/platonic billdip or older/budding-romance billdip, so I compromised and made it eighteen-year-old Dipper, and it’s 99.9% platonic pre-slash. That way, it isn’t as creepy as twelve-year-old Dipper, and Bill has had time to be not so... well..._ evil _in his spare time._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Featured song is: [Somewhere Over the Rainbow](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3BeKhlUzPUc) by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole

Dipper was in his room reading when it started.  His mind going to a dark, dark place out of the blue, nausea, sweating, unable to breathe; he dropped Journal 3 onto the bed and lifted his hands to cover his mouth. He started to hyperventilate, whimpering, tears gathering on the corners of his eyes. Mabel was out with Candy and Grenda doing some shopping, Soos out of town visiting Melody, and Grunkle Stan was sleeping like a baby downstairs in front of the TV.

His heart began to race as his paranoia caught up to him. _There’s, like, a thousand lethal supernatural creatures outside the Shack RIGHT AT THIS MOMENT! Gnomes, gremloblins, ghosts, Octavia... Oh god. Oh god oh god oh god oh god. I don’t want to die. What if one gets into the house? What is one is IN THE HOUSE RIGHT NOW?! Grunkle Stan’s gonna die, I’m gonna die, Mabel’s going to come back and SHE’s going to die! I don’t want to die, I don’t want to die, I don’t want to die, I don’t want to die..._

He wanted someone, _needed_ someone, to help him calm down right now. He felt like the air was being slowly choked out of him, and he didn’t know what to do. His thoughts kept spinning in a circle of _I don’t want to die_ and _Danger is everywhere_. But that didn’t make sense. No monster had ever got into the Mystery Shack without being led to it. The irrationality of his fear just made him panic even more. What was wrong with him? Why couldn’t he calm down? Why wasn’t he smart enough to calm down? He was _supposed_ to be the smart one, wasn’t he? He wasn’t good enough. He didn’t feel like himself. He didn’t feel like he was _real._ What the _fuck?!_

He caught a glimpse of the attic window in the corner of his eye, and a figurative light-bulb lit up in his head.

Bill was always watching, right?

The demon wasn’t that much of a bad guy, once you put a stop to his plans and made it impossible for him to try again. Oh sure, he resented the whole Pines family for years before he actually calmed down, but now that he did, he was tolerable and – dare he say it – fun to have around sometimes.

Before Dipper could think better of it, he managed to pick up his book and hurl it at the window. His hands were shaking, and the journal almost didn’t make it, but it did and landed with a dull thump on the floor. That should’ve gotten the demon’s attention. His whole body felt numb. Dizzy, he toppled down over the bed and hit the floor, shivering, cold, hyperventilating, and unable to think straight.

He struggled to figure out what to do next. He wanted to run, he couldn’t run, something was coming after him and he _didn’t want to die_ and he had to repeat Bill Cipher three times in a dark room, right? Fuck, he hoped he didn’t actually need it to be dark.

“Bi-“ he sucked in breath. “-ill Cipher. Bill-“ he choked. “-Cipher. B-“ he whispered the last one. “Bill Cipher.”

The triangle design in the window started to glow, but the world didn’t bleed to grey. Dipper almost panicked even more at that, before he remembered that the demon was able manifest in the real world now, and not just in the Mindscape. He couldn’t think clearly enough to remember the details, but it vaguely occurred to him that it had something to do with Bill’s plans being stopped half-way through.

The brightness of the window became almost blinding, and a horrifying thought crossed Dipper’s already terrified mind.

_Bill didn’t know shit about panic attacks._

A demon. He called a _fucking demon_ to help with a panic attack. _How stupid was he?!_ A demon that could kill him with a snap of his fingers, that enjoyed terrifying the poor souls that were fool enough to summon him, that _still hated Dipper for defeating him._

Dipper felt like he was about to pass out, but the fear of being unconscious in the near vicinity of a predator kept him awake.

▲▼▲

“Well, well, well! If it isn’t Pine Tree! Long time, no see, kid!”

No response.

Bill looked down from where he was floating, and stared dumbfounded at the heap of limbs that was Pine Tree, on the floor next to the bed. The kid – or not-so-kid now Bill guessed, eighteen years old and prepped for college – was making very fast and very shrill sounds with his mouth, sucking air in before he could even exhale the wholesome of his previous breath.

It belatedly occurred to Bill that that was called hyperventilating.

Pine Tree, upon seeing him, sat up abruptly and tried to scoot away, but bumped into the side of his bed instead. He froze and tried to curl up into himself, hands on his mouth as he stifled a whimper. He started to shiver, and the context of the situation slowly began to dawn upon Bill.

The demon lowered himself to eye-level, and held up his hands in a placating gesture.

“Did you want me to help, kid?” he said, modulating his voice in a more gentle, more calming tone.

Pine Tree stared at him for a long time, small tears rolling down his cheeks, before slowly nodding, almost hesitating.

“Alright.” Bill floated upwards once more. “I can help you better if I shape-shift into a human form, okay?” Pine Tree made a distressed sound and the demon quickly tried to explain. “Nothing you wouldn’t expect! Blonde, kinda tall, dark skin, floating top hat, yellow sweater... Body temperature might be a bit high, though. May I do that?”

Again, the kid stared at him a long time before slowly nodding.

Bill backed away and closed his eye. He willed himself a human meat-sack, and felt his pure energy change into flesh, blood and bone. He softly landed on the wooden floor without a sound, before opening his _two_ eyes this time, and letting his arms fall to his sides. He slowly kneeled in front of Pine Tree, still keeping his distance, and asked:

“Do you have medicine for this kind of thing?”

Pine Tree shook his head no.

“Right then. We have to get your breathing back in control, okay? Inhale for four seconds, hold it for seven, and exhale for eight. Count it with me.”

Bill’s hands followed the movements of his breaths. Up, hold, down. Up, hold, down. After a few minutes, Pine Tree was breathing in a steady rhythm.

“Keep on doing that, you’re doing great!” The demon smiled, mindful of not transforming his teeth into his usual fangs. “May I touch you?”

The kid shook his head almost immediately.

“Okay. That’s okay! I’m not getting any closer unless you ask me to. Do you want something to drink?”

Again, Pine Tree shook his head no. But then, he seemed to reconsider, and nodded.

“I can only go get a bottle of water if I leave the room,” Bill said. The kid cried out. “Oooor... I can make one appear, is that okay?”

“Hn...”

Eh, close enough.

Bill took that as an affirmative and snapped his fingers. A bottle appeared out of thin air, and dropped into his open palm. He twisted the cap open and made it disappear in a flash of blue flames. Slowly, he extended his arm and handed the bottle to the boy, who grabbed it with shaky fingers and struggled to take a sip.

“Breathe, Dipper,” the demon reminded.

Pine Tree’s body seemed to loosen up a little bit – instead of being curled up into a tight little ball, he only had his knees up to chest-level and his arms curved defensively in front of him – but he was still trembling and quietly sobbing. At least they were making progress, Bill thought. He sat down with his legs criss-crossed since his kneeling was starting to get uncomfortable.

“Do you want me to sing you a song, Pine Tree?” Bill asked, and the kid stared at him questioningly before answering.

“S-sure...”

Bill smiled softly before clearing his throat.

“ _Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high...”_ he began.

 _And the dreams that you dream of_ _  
Once in a lullaby_

Bill made sure to pitch his voice in a deeper, smoother tone. It seemed to do the trick, as Pine Tree’s muscles started to relax, the tension melting away.

 _Somewhere over the rainbow_  
_Blue birds fly_  
_And the dreams that you dreamed of_  
_Dreams really do come true ooh oh_

The kid’s arms rested on his lap, his head tilted to the side and his breathing returning to a more normal speed.

 _Someday I'll wish upon a star_  
_Wake up where the clouds are far behind me_  
_Where trouble melts like lemon drops_  
_High above the chimney tops_  
_That's where you'll find me_

Pine Tree stared in wonder and smiled shyly. He stopped shivering.

 _ _Somewhere over the rainbow__  
_Blue birds fly_  
_And the dream that you dare to,_  
_Oh why, oh why can't I?_

 _Well I see trees of green and red roses too,_  
_I'll watch them bloom for me and you_  
_And I think to myself_  
_What a wonderful world_

Pine Tree loosened up completely, and opened up his arms as if in a welcoming gesture.

“Please...?”

Bill stopped singing and smiled softly, before slowly crawling his way beside Pine Tree and resting his back against the side of the bed. The boy turned to face him, resting his head on the demon’s shoulder, and bringing one of his arms across Bill’s waist. He sniffled and wiped away the last of his tears with the back of his sleeve.

“You can get through this, Dipper.” Bill said. “What you feel is scary, but it's not dangerous. You’re safe here.”

Pine Tree simply buried his face deeper into Bill’s shoulder.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

The kid shook his head no.

“Okay. Go to sleep, Pine Tree. I’ll be staying right here, and I’ll make sure you have good dreams, alright? None of that nightmare stuff today.”

The kid didn’t respond for a few minutes, enough so that Bill thought he had already dozed off.

“...Thank you, Bill.”

“Don’t mention it.”

“Why did you help me?”

Why, indeed... If Bill had to guess, he’d have to say he grew a liking to the Pines twins, even after all they had cost him. He’d even go so far as to say he had forgiven them, despite his own demonic nature.

“I don’t know, Pine Tree. Guess I just felt like it.”

The kid scoffed, before his eyes started to droop and he yawned.

“Whatever you say, Bill. Whatever you say...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t even know why I chose this song. I just thought it would be perfect for fluffy billdip for some reason... :/ However, Israel's voice isn't exactly what I headcanon.


	3. Zombie!AU (gift for britanniafork)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tags: pre-slash, minor character death
> 
>  
> 
> _Note: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BRITANNIA!!!!! This is based off your[Hidden AU](http://hidden-au.tumblr.com/) with some pre-relationship billdip thrown in! Hope you like it!!!! Everyone else should really go check it out because it's really f***ing awesome!!! :3_

Dipper Pines saw it coming but at the same time he didn’t because he didn’t believe the world could possibly be that fucking cruel.

The signs were there, all the way back from when he was twelve: the end of the world, first prophesied by Bill Cipher himself (“A darkness approaches. A day will come in the future when everything you care about will change!”) and then by a computer once belonging to a genius mechanic gone bonkers. Dipper still hits himself over the head when recalling how stupid he was, blowing it off as non-important to instead party with that Northwest chick.

At first, he thought that the darkness had been Great Uncle Ford, and the end of the world would come in the form of that interdimensional rift. And he was right, partially, because that summer ended with a _bang_ that he wouldn’t soon forget.

But then, ten years later, the world decides to drop a zombie apocalypse on his head.

And not your typical zombies either. Not the ones that you can summon and defeat with a three part harmony, and that you can actually cure.

No, these ones could _turn invisible._ Like, seriously, what the fuck?!

They could run, too. _Boy_ could the run. And climb. Up walls and across ceilings like decomposing spiders with a nasty case of _hungry-for-brains-ionisis._

It started in the summer, and the twins were in Gravity Falls. It always starts in Gravity Falls. The door flew open as if it was kicked, and the only reason Grunkle Stan narrowly avoided getting his arm chomped off was because whatever invisi-zombie came in storming had been tracking through mud before getting to the door. Footprints, hiking boots size ten, and Mabel had managed to bonk the thing with an on-sale baseball bat over the top of the head.

It went _squish_ and then _thud_ and the Pines family found themselves with an already-decomposing corpse laying on the gift shop’s carpet.

That was a year ago. And a year changes you a lot.

They tried to save as many Gravity Falls residents as they could. Pacifica died in Mabel’s arms, Soos took one for the team, Wendy failed to rescue Tambry, Robbie and the rest of the gang never returned from their hunting trip, and Sheriff Blubs sacrificed himself as the rest hijacked a bus and got the hell out of dodge.

It was a _bloodbath_ and it only got worse.

They first made their way to Piedmont to go get the twins’ parents and _oh god please let them live, please let them be okay, please don’t make them zombies and for the love of god please don’t make me kill them._

Two bullets. One for each head. Thank God for Grunkle Stan’s ladder-paranoia-induced arsenal.

From then on it was a matter of survival. It was only the Pines family plus Lazy Susan, Candy, Grenda and Mr. Gleeful for a couple of weeks. They had to let Mr. Gleeful go due to… _loyalty issues…_ but then they managed to cross over the border by taking highway five and arriving in Vancouver of all places.

They met up with a few other survivor gangs – one comprised of an asian family, another consisting of a bunch of high school kids and a last white british middle-aged couple – and they were all very nice, until racism decided to peek its nose out and the couple duked it out with the Asians.

The Americans (as the Canadians called them) holed up in an abandoned mall with the high school kids and the remainders of the asian family (father and daughter only) and debated where to go from there.

Communications and electricity were out, the infection (as per Grunkle Ford’s theory) evidently having made its way to the employees of whatever companies that provided those services, and the military didn’t seem to be doing shit, so it was going to be a game of survival. Find a nice secluded place – on an island, or up a mountain maybe – with a drinkable water source nearby and build base camp there. Do some research on the invisi-zombies, find out if there’s a cause, a cure, a strategy as to take them down (classic game-and-movie logic seemed to apply by just blowing off their heads, and fire too, but aiming at something you can’t see can prove a bit tricky) and just accepting the fact that an actual real-life zombie apocalypse was their lives now.

On that first night, curled into a tight ball in the Hudson’s Bay store, warmth seeping from where his back was touching Mabel’s, Dipper got his first visit.

Bill. Fucking. Cipher.

The same demon that warned Dipper of the impending apocalypse in the first place.

He offered a deal, because he was a demon obviously, but Dipper really didn’t want a repeat of the Sock Opera Incident. The group relied on him now, to do his job and contribute his part. Grenda was the tank, Candy invented a whole bunch of different fortune weapons they could use, Grunkle Ford trained Mabel in the art of shooting, and Dipper took on the axe – Wendy’s axe – because it felt right.

Bill Cipher was not about to possess him again only to offer Dipper’s body up to the zombies.

“Yeesh, kid, relax!” the demon laughed, and held his hands up in mock-surrender. “I’m not gonna do that, swear on your sister’s pretty little head!” Then he seemed to grow serious, his single eye frowning a little as he gazed directly into Dipper’s eyes. “I don’t want any harm to come to the components of my wheel.”

Dipper felt rage boil up at that. “ _Oh yeah?!_ Then what happened to Wendy, and Soos, and Pacifica, and Robbie?! What about them, huh? What were they? Ice Bag, Question Mark, Llama and Stitched Heart? _Harm sure came to them!”_

Through tear-blurred vision, Dipper could see Bill shrink in on himself at that, and he even flickered blue for a second though that could’ve just been Dipper imagining it.

“I couldn’t…” the demon started, as he steadily thrummed from yellow, to orange, to red. “You locked me out of Gravity Falls ten years ago, and I couldn’t do anything!” he yelled. “I couldn’t even look inside and see what the _fuck_ was going on! Do you know how painful it is to have a wheel component die?! _It’s fucking unbearable,_ AND I HAD TO GO THROUGH IT FOUR TIMES WITHIN A DAY! WHY DO YOU THINK I HAVEN’T BEEN ABLE TO CONTACT YOU BEFORE NOW?!”

Flames erupted all around them, burning up the greyscale landscape but Dipper didn’t move a muscle. _He hadn’t known..._

The demon had fat blobs of water streaming down from his eye and he was flickering blue and red and _purple_ and there were flames coming from his hands, and they were flickering too, and it was just so _surreal._ Bill Cipher was a loud, obnoxiously happy maniac and he _didn’t cry and he didn’t have human emotions._ He was a _demon_ for Christ’s sake!

That didn’t stop Dipper from wrapping his arms around the triangle, even though his mind was screaming at him to _WAKE THE FUCK UP!_

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” he whispered.

After a while, he felt tiny hands clutch at the fabric on his back, and he heard the demon _sniffle holy shit what the fuck_ before Bill pushed away, yellow already, and floated up and a ways off. He rubbed at his eye with the back of his hand.

“This never happened, kid,” he said.

Dipper couldn’t help but smile. “I don’t know, Bill…” he shrugged. “This _is_ prime blackmail material after all…”

The demon only glared, though he didn’t turn red so Dipper figured he was safe.

“You got cheeky.” The demon’s eye upturned into what Dipper assumed was his version of a smile, and clapped his hands together. “I like that! So what about that deal, huh?”

Dipper sighed and could feel a migraine coming up. Leave it to a demon to still be an annoying asshole after an emotional breakdown.

Although… If a component was this important to Bill, then maybe the demon _wasn’t_ going to offer Dipper up to the zombies after all.

“Wait. Hold up. Recap,” he said, holding his hands in a T-formation. “You want to possess my body again.”

“Periodically,” the demon added.

Dipper looked at him incredulously. “ _Periodically?_ What does _that_ mean?”

“Those undead abominations that shouldn’t even _qualify_ as undead just cost me _four_ protégés.” His hands balled up into fists and small flames erupted from them. “I’m an all-seeing entity. I can help. All I need is a flesh-bag to pound their face in and they’ll rue the day they didn’t blow their brains out before getting infected. I don’t need to gather up resources, eat and sleep and all that other boring stuff. Just let me in on the action, and rest assured no one else is going to die.”

“You can _see_ the zombies?”

Dipper didn’t know why he was surprised. Of course he could.

“Of course I can!” the demon exclaimed. “They’re ugly fuckers like you wouldn’t _believe._ Or actually like you would believe. You’ve seen them right? After they _actually_ die.”

“Yeah I did, wish I didn’t.”

“You and me both, kid. You and me both…”

“So what?” Dipper asked, still not understanding the whole of it. “Last time you possessed me you couldn’t even walk right! You’re seriously gonna fight using my body? The _Pine Tree component’s_ body?”

The demon shrugged. “Paradoxically, I can _only_ possess a protégé’s meat-suit,” he said. “Fez and Glasses are fit, but old. Their hearts might not be able to take on a being of pure energy, even with the power dimmed down.” He grew silent for a minute. “… My wheel is comprised of ten components total. Nine of them are people, the Hand being the Journals. Four of them are dead, two are too old, Gideon is safe in a barricaded prison and he’s got the other prisoners eating out of his hand, so that’s seven down and two left.”

“Me or Mabel.”

“I figured I’d get a more violent reaction out from you if I possessed your sister, than the other way around.”

Dipper fell silent as he considered his options. Bill was lying, that was for sure. A demon could never be _completely_ honest but they could get close enough to genuine. And genuine Bill was. Acting? That was a thing he could do; but showing weakness? There were more efficient ways to convince Dipper to lend his body than crying one’s eye out.

And even if Bill was willing to put his pride and dignity aside and Dipper didn’t fall for it, then the demon would go see Mabel and _she_ would. She’d absolutely buy it and make the deal. Either way, one twin was getting possessed and like hell Dipper was going to let it be his sister.

“Alright, fine,” he said after minutes of pacing up and down, thinking it over and over inside of his head and debating all possible outcomes with himself. Bill perked up from where he was leaning on his golden cane, and out-stretched his hand, blue flames enveloping it. “But on _my_ conditions,” Dipper added.

The flames snuffed out and the hand retreated before he could even blink. Bill was back to leaning on his cane. “Name your terms, kid.”

 _Wow, he’s not even going to argue about it,_ Dipper thought. _He must really want to kill those zombies._

“I want my body intact every time you finish using it,” he started. “I can understand non-lethal battle injuries, but no self-harm, understood?”

The demon tilted his body back and forth in a nod.

“Also, no going murdering non-zombiefied people. I don’t care if they’re not on the wheel, Candy and Grenda and Lazy Susan remain unharmed. The others too. Any strangers we encounter, even if they’re traitors you let them go to fend for themselves, give them a chance. The only reason you’ve got to kill a human is because they’re about to kill me or other nice people.”

Bill tilted his eyelid in a weird way as if he was raising one eyebrow.

“That it?”

“Nope. One more thing.” Dipper paused. “If you’ve got to choose between saving me or saving another component of your wheel, you fucking save that other person okay?”

Bill’s tiny black arm stretched and shrouded itself in blue flames.

They shook hands.


End file.
